Much as it is important to complement kids all the time, have you ever wondered whether it is all really necessary? Every time your child finishes his cereal, ‘good job’, he puts back his toothbrush correctly ‘good job’. Every time, he does something small you are there to pat hi back and make him feel good. This is a great thing to do for your kid, however, as he grows and ends up in environments where you are not in charge like school for instance, he will want to keep hearing the compliments and if he doesn’t, this makes the child feel less accomplished. Once in a while it is important to let a child feel accomplished on his or her own, but that does not mean we completely ignore them. No, we can simply replace the cliché ‘good job’ with several other alternatives. Let’s check them out;
Use sentence starters.
You can introduce sentence starters into your talk. For instance, I notice you finished your cereal or I see you’ or you can even ask, ‘Tell me how you managed to piece those sticks into a house
Notice and give feedback about efforts. When you notice your child has put some effort into a particular activity, give feedback that you have noticed it. Like for instance, I see you’ve really tried hard to find the sticks that complete the structure.
Invite children to talk.
You can also give them an opportunity to show off on their own. For instance, that really is a nice house, how did you build it?
Say “thank you.” Thank children whenever they do something out of the way to impress you. For instance, if your child comes to you to report that they have put away the dishes after a meal, say thank you.
Give nonverbal feedback If you go to watch your child during a class baseball competition, give non-verbal feedback, for instance, if your son is on the spotlight and the one holding the bat to strike, smile, show them they are doing it right etc.
Use mirroring. Mirror back. For instance, if your child said they couldn’t walk down the stairs on their own and then at one point they do it. Look back to the point they couldn’t and commend them for making and effort to do it. For example, just the other day, you were afraid of going down the stairs on your own, look at you, you just did it!